3 years

I wrote this poem in 2012: 

i wish i could pull the blankets over our heads.

we could hide from the world.

no one would find us.

we'd be safe there.

i wish i could give you that, my sweet little boy.

instead, we'll make believe.

I can't believe three years have gone by. Three years ago on this day my life was flipped upside down never to be the same again. The doctor said the word "cancer" and every parent's nightmare became my reality.

Even though it was difficult, we always found happiness in the spaces between the tears, sore tummies, headaches, tantrums and fear. Luis is doing very well. He's happy, he's healthy, he survived, he's cancer-free. I've come to know other parents that had a tougher journey and I get goosebumps whenever I think about it. I know we are blessed.

We had a scare last week when a large lump appeared under Luis' chin. As I sat there during the ultrasound, and again waiting for results, I was thinking to myself, "Oh God, please not again". The doctor didn't have a definite answer when we left the hospital. We'll see the oncologist this week. The lump is going down with antibiotics, which we wanted to see so I think we're in the clear. But it puts everything back into perspective...how truly precious and fragile life can be even when you think it's stable; how we should take nothing for granted, because it can all change in an instant; how we need to love fully, find our happiness everyday, and treasure every opportunity given to us.

 --Mommy