Nuclear melt downs

MOMMY:

We went for blood work in Windsor and found that Luis' neutrophils had increased slightly from the previous week but they were still low at 0.6, meaning that his immune system is still compromised. From what I was told, we would only go to London if they up to 0.75. I assumed this meant we would get another week for Luis' body to recoup. No such luck. It turns out the doctor was ok with starting the next round of chemo after all. With an afternoon call, we were told to be in London by morning. In a mad scramble, I packed up many bags for our trip (the suitcases, the diaper bag, the lunch bag, the toy backpack, the stroller, etc.) and was on the road to the Ronald McDonald House. The one blessing is that Luis hadn't napped so he slept most of the way. Julien was a little less sleepy and with my mom driving, I had the pleasure of constantly reaching into the back seat and keeping him pacified. A typical ride for Julien.

I knew this appointment would be a long one. We arrived before 9 am and left around 7 pm. He had the 'usual' lumbar puncture (a chemo drug injected in the spine while under general anaesthesia), and two other chemo drugs through his port. One of them required him to be hydrated for two hours and once the drug was given, he had to be flushed with IV fluid for 6 hours. That's where the long day came from.

Luis & Mémé playing Brainiac

Brainiac - a memory game that Luis is really good at

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"Are you looking at me?!?!"

I can handle long days. It's Luis' anger that has been getting under my skin lately. About 95% of the time, he's a charming, articulate, smart, sweet little boy. The remainder of the time, he's a nuclear bomb that disrupts the peace for everyone in earshot. This is new since the cancer. He had tantrums before, but NOTHING like this. One nurse suggested his outbursts could be Luis' sense of control since he has no control over his cancer treatment. Makes sense, but doesn't make it easier.

At home, I've discovered some techniques to get through these explosions. Primarily, I let him have a few minutes with his melt down. When I think he's ready, I scoop him up, bring him into another room, set him on the counter looking eye to eye, and re-direct his attention.This works at home. Not so much in public. I don't feel right leaving the nuclear bomb screaming at the top of his lungs for an extended period of time over something like using the cream cheese or picking the wrong movies from the shelf. Especially when there are 10 other cancer patients and their families in the neighbouring beds. Or at the RMH around other families and children. And during all this, don't forget, there is my 7 month old baby listening. Then he starts balling his eyes out because he's scared.  Lord help me. Two kids screaming at the top of their lungs and I have little control.  Let's just say, I was ready to have a melt down. I think the stress of it all just finally caught up with me. Got the kids to bed that night, popped in my headphones, and started cleaning the house. That was my therapy. I think cleaning gives a sense control. Anyway, all was well after that.

When we got home, I sought out help to address Luis' outbursts. Within a couple days, I was able to get a Social Worker specializing in children's behaviour modification and play therapy into the house. She was great. She played games with him to talk about his feelings. I learned that he is sad when his mommy and daddy are away. He is happy when he got a toy from mommy's treasure chest after his needle. We also learned some techniques to immediately address his angry feelings. She gave me a tube of bubbles. When Luis is upset, we have to go outside and blow bubbles by taking five slow 'bubble breaths'. Sounds a bit like Lamaze, but whatever works. I tried it today when he started screaming because his fort fell apart. It worked!

The Social Worker also read him a cute book about everyone's imaginary bucket that gets filled when we are happy and empty when we are angry or sad. Since then, when we do things together, we say things like "You're filling up my bucket!" or "My bucket is getting heavy!"  We're off to a good start for only one meeting. Today was the Social Worker's assessment and I will talk with her more next week on the phone to follow up. We will meet with her again next week as well. I'm really looking forward to her assistance.

On a side note, on the way home from London, we stopped on Dougall at the food stand. There happened to be a firetruck there (with lots of firemen :) ) that stopped too. The driver invited Luis to sit in the driver seat. The fireman turned on the lights and the siren for him. He was very happy!